


baby seasons change, but people don't (or do they?)

by Amiteva3



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Angst, Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa Lives, Drinking, Fluff, Hurt Palermo, Multi, Palermo Gets A Hug, Palermo and Nairobi are besties you can't change my mind, Palermo is very soft, Palermo needs a hug, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, They are all a big family, i am soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24752521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amiteva3/pseuds/Amiteva3
Summary: After Berlin's death Palermo completely changes. Nothing but a cold shell is left from him. But when he finds out that Berlin is not in fact dead, the whole team would be surprised of how soft and kind he actually is.
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote, Bogotá/Nairobi | Ágata Jiménez, Denver | Daniel Ramos/Mónica Gaztambide, Nairobi | Ágata Jiménez & Palermo | Martín Berrote, Raquel Murillo/Professor | Sergio Marquina
Comments: 29
Kudos: 166





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my first Berlemo fanfiction so they all are probably out of character and im sorry :( It was supposed to be completely different but I ended up with this instead. It would probably be 3-4 chapters long, just so you know. Okay, thank you byeee

If you said that the last three years were a little rough for Martin he would probably laugh at you. Because ,,a little rough” would be the underestimation of the century. He wouldn’t exactly say that getting blackout drunk every single night is a little rough. Or isolating yourself and not talking to anybody for weeks. Or wanting to kill yourself at any point in time. Or _trying_ to kill yourself a couple of times. Or- Anyway, you get the point. Martin would easily say that the past three years have been the worst years of his life. 

After Andres told him he loved him, kissed him and left him all in the span of four minutes Martin was heartbroken. He had fallen into a pit and getting out of it seemed almost impossible. _Almost_ being the key word. After all he had lived through all five of Andres’ weddings and he had gotten used to being hurt and living with the heartbreak. Although this was worse than before Martin had hoped that eventually things will get better. They _had_ to get better. But then six month later he had turned on the news. And nothing was good since then.

When Sergio came to tell him about the heist Martin agreed because what else did he have to lose? Of course he loved the plan, it was his baby, but that was before. Now all it did was remind him of a time when everything was different. When _he_ was different. So he became Palermo, the asshole, the sexist, the one that everyone hates. And he was okay with that,really. Because that was who he was now. ,,You’re not a sexist. You’re just an asshole.” had said Nairobi. And she was right. He tried so hard to be witty and loud and mean and _hateful_ just to cover the fact that he wasn’t anything now. He was empty, but a cold shell of what he was with Andres. All that softness, passion and life had disappeared. 

Martin knew he treated Helsinki like shit. He knew that the big man didn’t deserve it. The Serb was basically a giant teddy bear and it was clear to anyone that he was in love with Martin. And the Argentine wanted to return those feelings, but deep down he knew - he would never be able to love anyone else like he loved Andres. He would just mislead Helsinki so he did to him what he did to everyone else - he pushed him away. 

Martin had to admit he screwed up in the Bank. First trying to get out - another desperate attempt to escape himself and maybe fuck everyone else, just for fun. Cause he was an _asshole_ , who did things like that. And, hey, if he died in the process all the better right? But then, he had told Gandia how to free himself and that had almost cost the lives of both Tokyo and Nairobi (and the whole plan, really). He didn’t know what he was thinking when he did it. Had he really become the monster he pretended to be? Fortunately he killed Gandia before he killed Nairobi and that saved his situation a little bit, but the team would never see him the same way, he knew that. After their hasty escape the Professor gathered them all on the boat.

,,So, as you all saw no one is safe from the police. Everyone can be caught and, of course if that happens we are here to help that person,” all eyes turned to Rio and he shrunk into himself, “But, I have a proposal. It occurred to me that it is dangerous for all of us to be in one place. But maybe it is more dangerous to be separated. With all the money from both heists we can afford to buy a private island who can fit all of us. I know I said no personal relationships, but we all saw how that turned out, “the Professor and Raquel looked at each other and smiled, “So, what do you think.” Everyone stayed quiet for about five seconds when suddenly Helsinki roared and was soon followed by the others. That night everyone celebrated not only getting out of the Bank alive, but also starting a new life - a life with your family. 

Everyone celebrated. Everyone but Martin. No one noticed him when retreated to a corner of the room and didn’t clap or scream. No one noticed him when he quietly snuck out and went to his cabin. No one heard the muffled sounds of crying. 

Two hours later when everyone was already in bed Nairobi got up and got out of her cramped cabin, that she had to share with Helsinki. She loved that guy to death, but she wasn’t able to listen to his loud snores any longer. She took with her a package of cigarettes that she used only on rare occasions. Well, escaping her certain death had to be a special occasion, right? But when she got to the front of the ship Nairobi heard faint sniffling and soon enough she saw the figure of Martin hunched over the railing. The woman approached him and whispered.

,,Martin, cariño, what happened?” the Argentine jumped at the sound of her voice and quickly wiped his eyes. For a second he contemplated spitting out an insult that would get Nairobi to leave, but he was tired. Tired of pretending, tired of it all. So he just shook his head. “He’s not here. He’s gone. What am I supposed to do now?”

“Oh, Martin,” even though the man was older than her Nairobi’s mother instincts kicked in and she hugged him tight, hand going through his hair comfortingly. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have told you all that in front of the whole gang. I was pissed off. But I shouldn’t have done it.” Martin didn’t reply, he just held onto Nairobi for dear life and cried, the way he hadn’t done in months. After a couple of minutes, when he calmed himself down enough to let her go he smiled a little. Not the cocky smirk everyone had seen him with, but a real smile for once. ,,Thank you, Nairobi, really. And, I’m guessing you know, if you ever tell anyone about this-” “Yeah, yeah, you’ll kill me, I get it. Now let get you inside.” They both chuckled and headed inside. 

* * *

* * *

“Cincinnati, get inside, quickly! You haven’t eaten all your vegetables yet.” Stockholm’s scream could be heard from the opposite side of the island, as well as Denver’s following laugh. Martin sighed, and leaned back on his chair. After two month of living with these idiots he had gotten used to it, and maybe even grown to like it (if you ask him about it he would deny it). They gathered almost every night and they really did look like one big, happy family. But Martin continued to distance himself from them. He chose the house farthest away from the rest, he almost never went to the beach with the others and he never shared much personal details with anyone. To them he was still the cold, sarcastic asshole that he was in the heist. He was thinking of escaping - to get on a little boat one night and just get away from it all. But Martin knew that would very dangerous and that if they caught him there was a real chance they would catch the rest too. Even he wasn’t that selfish. So he stuck to drinking cocktails on the porch, reminiscing about the good old days (as much as that hurt him) and from time to time getting into fights with the others over insignificant things. 

Today was a slow day - not that they were fast days here. But everyone was either by the beach or still sleeping, which rarely happened. It was almost 1 pm and Bogota still hasn’t left the bed, judging by the snores coming from the house closest to his. Nairobi had insisted that she and Martin had to be neighbours. Ever since that night on the boat she was always looking out for him and some nights the two of them would go down to the beach and talk. He still wouldn’t reveal himself truly in front of her, though. Only Andes had known him exactly as he was. And he doubted he would let anyone get as close as him.

The Professor and Raquel had gone somewhere out of the island, along with Tokyo, Marseille and Manilla. No one knew what they were doing, but Martin wasn’t worried. If it truly was something serious they would alert the whole team. 

,,Martin! Come here!” speaking of the devil, ,,Sergio, you’re back so early. What a delight.” he tried to put as much sarcasm as he could in the words. ,,We don’t have time for this, just please come here.” Martin sighed again. He slowly got up from his chair and closed the magazine he had been reading. ,,Coming, mom.” Sergio was waiting for him in front of his and Raquel’s house. He looked a little nervous, but that was nothing new for him. ,,Let’s get in, I have something to tell you.” 

That intrigued Martin and he followed the younger man inside. He was wondering what Sergio had to tell him, but nothing came to mind. Maybe they were having another child? But why would he tell Martin? They weren’t best friends exactly. ,,Sit down. So, you were probably wondering where we were these past few days-” “Not really.” “-and I will explain it to you as quick as possible. We would have told you sooner, bu-

,,Come on, hermanito, I can tell him myself.” Martin felt himself freeze. That voice. He hadn’t heard that voice in five years and he had thought he would never hear it again. His heart started beating impossibly fast and for a second he was worried he would die from a heart attack there and then. He got up from his chair and with shaking hands he turned around. And there he was. Andres was standing in front of him. Thinner and paler for sure, but in his red suit and with that smirk on his it was undeniably Andres. Martin took a sharp breath and fell on his knees. 

,,Andres?” he was afraid of talking. Afraid of moving. He felt like if he closed his eyes the man in front of him would disappear. But when he blinked he was still there. Still looking at him with a smile and eyes that were suspiciously red. “Yes, mi amor. I told you time was going to bring us back together eventually.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all guys thank you so much for all your lovely comments and support! It means the world to me that you like the fic. This chapter is a little longer and I'm again warning you it may be OOC so I'm sorry about that :( From now I'm thinking of posting one shots about Martin slowly getting more sociable and to how he was before. Let me now if you like it, as always :))

The room was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Then with no warning Martin jumped and gripped the hem of Andres’ shirt.

,,You fucker! How could you do this to me!” tears were streaming down his cheeks, but he didn’t care about that. After he managed to believe that Andres was in fact real and not a hallucination (that had happened before, when he had been very drunk) hot anger shot through his whole body. How could that bastard fuck him up so bad and then return and act like nothing happened? ,,You left me! You had no idea how I felt, no idea what my life has become. Because of you!”

,,Guys, can you  _ please  _ keep quiet, Cincinnati just agreed to eat his carrots and now he’s distracted because of the noise! What’s goin-” Denver’s speech was quickly cut off by the sight in front of him. The Professor and Raquel were staring at Palermo who was yelling at someone, while also crying and looking in the middle of a total breakdown. But when Denver saw at who exactly Martin was yelling his jaw hit the floor. Berlin who supposed to have been killed back in the Mint was standing perfectly fine in the middle of the living room. ,,What the fuck? Will someone tell me wha-” ,,Shut up!” every person in the room turned to him and gave him a death glare. Well everyone except Palermo who still looked a little insane. ,,Denver, please, we will explain everything later, now is not a good time.”  _ Yeah, no shit Professor.  _ He just nodded at left the house. 

,,Martin, you have to calm down, did you see that? People hear you and they’re not supposed to know about Andres yet.” ,,Hermanito, I really want to punch you, so I suggest you keep your mouth shut,” Andres glared at his brother and looked at Martin. It hurt him deeply to see him so broken. And what’s more was that he was the reason Martin looked like that. ,,Martin, hey, shhh. Let’s go to the kitchen. I want to talk to you privately.” the younger man’s energy seemed to have died a little so he just spat out ,,Fine” and followed him.

,,First of all I know I fucked up,” Martin eyebrows shot up at that. He wasn’t expecting that Andres would be this straightforward. ,,I know I hurt you, and that what I did was terrible. But, mi amor, I was dying. I don’t know if Sergio told you or if you heard it on the news, but I have a disease. A fatal disease. I didn’t know how- I couldn’t-” Andres hated being vulnerable and showing emotions, but just looking at Martin and thinking about what state he left him in brought tears to his eyes. ,,I know it’s hard to believe, but that hurt me too, Martin. I never wanted to leave. And even if it was the best option I still hated it.” By now Martin was no longer resisting, he was shaking with sobs in Andres’ tight embrace. ,,Don’t do it. Don’t say shit like that, you asshole. Don’t give me hope, just to leave me again.”

,,Martin, look at me. Please, look me in the eyes.” the Argentine slowly lifted his head from Berlin’s shoulder and looked at him. ,,They cured me. These bastards from the police were so desperate for information that they found some fucking medication that works. Do you know what that means, Martin?” his face broke into a smile, ,,There’s nothing standing in the way. Te quiero, Martin. And I promise to never leave you alone again.” and without waiting for an answer Andres kissed him. 

And Martin forgot he was angry. Forgot he was sad and destroyed. The kiss was like the one they shared at the Monastery and also completely different. Because this was Andres and Martin knew him. He was familiar, he was safe, he was  _ home _ and nothing could change that. But back then the kiss was sensual and messy and even a little aggressive. It was supposed to prove a point. But this one was slow and sweet - like a promise. They broke the kiss and looked at each other. 

,,Of course, you know that you won’t leave alone in that big house anymore right?” smirked Andres, ,,you’ll have to put up with my cooking somehow.”

,,I’m not too worried. Besides you can repay me for disturbing the peace in other ways.” they kissed again, this time deeper, their tongues fighting for dominance until Martin gave in and let Andres’ tongue roam around his mouth, tasting every part of him.

,, Okay, I think I gave you enough time, now let's discuss our next actions.” the sound of Sergio’s voice coming closer broke them apart and when he entered the room Berlin winked at Martin. ,,What next actions? I’ll just stay here.”

,, Are you sure? You’ve never liked settling down, so why now? It doesn’t make sense”

“Oh, I think it makes perfect sense.” Raquel, who had been quiet until now, spoke up and Berlin didn’t miss the pointed look she gave both Martin and him. ,,Why, what am I missing?’’ 

,,You know, carino, you are the smartest man I know, and yet you can be really stupid sometimes.” Sergio looked a little shaken from the fact and opened his mouth, but quickly closed it, deciding now is not the best time for that. He turned to his brother, adjusting his glasses in the process. ,,You have to tell the rest of the gang that you’re alive, no don’t make that expression, what did you expect? To never leave this kitchen?”

,,No, I was actually expecting to never leave Martin’s kitchen.” Berlin looked at his friend (boyfriend? probably a more suitable word now) and laughed. ,,We’ve already talked about it with Martin. I’ll live with him.”

,,Oh, um of course. If that’s what you want.” the Professor looked between the two men, a little lost. Andres almost pitied him. His brother really had no clue about feelings and relationships. ,,I have a question. Why didn’t you tell me anything about it?” Everyone turned to Martin who had been weirdly quiet. ,,Marseille knew and I get that, he’s trustworthy, I haven’t heard him say more than three words in total. Tokyo is a weird choice, seeing as she’s fucking crazy and doesn’t know how to follow orders to save her life, but she’s still part of the gang so I understand even that. But Manilla? You don’t even know her, you son of a bitch.” Martin was raising his voice with each word, feeling himself getting angry once again. Only Andres’ comforting hand on his shoulder stopped him from standing up and causing an even bigger scene.

,,You chose that bitch, you only took in, to please Denver’s whiny ass, over me? You might hate me, Sergio, I know that. But that is Andres we’re talking about! How could you not tell me? Me!”

,,That’s exactly why, Martin. You care for him too much. I couldn’t afford that! You could have ruined the whole operation.” Martin opened his mouth again, but Sergio interrupted him before he even said a word. ,,But do you know the main reason? I didn’t wanna give you any false hope! What would have happened if you were with us, seconds away from finally seeing Andres again after five years and something went wrong? How would you feel?” Martin was quiet, for once, thinking about the Professor’s words. He could imagine the situation surprisingly well. He would have gone crazy. That would be end for him, he knew that. The Argentine shuddered even thinking about it. ,,And I do care about you, just so you know.” Martin stared at Sergio for about five seconds until finally muttering ,,He has feelings, everybody, what a surprise.” Sergio nodded and turned to Andres again. ,,So do you wanna gather everyone and tell them now? Or we can do it later, in the evening.”

,,Later would be much better. For now, Martin, can we go to your house I want to rest.”

* * *

To Martin’s surprise they  _ did _ rest. He wasn’t disappointed, just surprised when instead of having sex the two of them ended up just laying on his big bed and talking. He tried, but couldn’t find the words to describe how happy he was about all off this. It was like suddenly all he wanted in life had come true. Sure, he wasn’t usually the type to want to grow old on an island, away from everyone, but by throwing one look at the man lying next to him, the man he never thought he’d have, looking at him and smiling softly everything else seemed to fade away. God - it was, what, 5 hours of being with Andres and he was already turning disgustingly mushy. 

,,Hey, mi amor, what are you thinking about? You have that look on your face.” Martin smiled at that. The man really knew him inside and out. ..Nothing serious. Just thinking about you. Like I always do, according to you.” They both laughed, but the comment left Palermo feeling uneasy. It still stung, when he thought about that night, of course it did. He supposed it would get easier with time. ,,As much as I like laying in bed with you, I think it’s time we go.” Andres sighed and looked at his watch. ,,Why can’t we stay here forever, again?” 

,,Honestly, I don’t know. But your brother said so, and you always listen to him, right.” He nudged the older man and left the warm bed.

When they  _ finally _ managed to leave the house it was already six p.m. and everyone was already sat at the table. ,,So where’s Palermo? Or did he finally come to terms with his hatred for us and left this island.”

,,Dear Bogota, I have admitted countless times that I hate you all, and yet I’m still here. What can I say, I guess I’m a masochist. But tonight I’m not coming alone. Carino, please come here.”

Everyone’s eyes turned to the person walking towards the table. ,,Berlin?” Helsinki’s confused voice was the first to break the silence.

,,BERLIN!” screamed then Denver and the whole gang gathered around Andres. He may not have been the most popular back in the Mint, but he was still part of them and there was nothing greater than seeing someone you thought was gone forever. They of course bombarded him with questions, but he refused to say anything until they sat at the table and “acted like civilized people”. 

He then told them about how he was seriously injured and the police took him to a hospital, where he stayed for month, healing both from the bullet wounds and his illness. According to them he still had to take medication daily, but he was no longer at risk of dying. After that they sent him to a private prison, where they tried to get information out of him. ,,I gotta say, it wasn’t fun. Those sons of bitches used everything they had on me. But I didn’t tell them anything.” he smirked confidently, but he grabbed Martin’s hand under the table. Martin understood and squeezed it tighter. Andres had probably lived in Hell for years and here he was talking about it freely and confidently. He doubted the older man felt as okay as he acted. Apparently those Pakistani hackers Sergio had hired detected a signal near the place Rio was held and they looked into it. With their help the Professor, Raquel, Tokyo, Marseille and Manilla had managed to free him.

,,And that is my exciting story. I would love to talk more about myself, but tell me about you now. And specifically how was my Martin doing? I know my leaving has been hard on him.” Martin blushed at the “my” but everyone else seemed confused. 

,,Martin? You mean Palermo? That asshole?” Naturally Tokyo never passed the opportunity to irritate someone if given the chance. ,,Who the hell knows. He just comes here from time to time and starts fighting with everyone. I’ve never seen him being actually nice, now that I think about it.” The table erupted with laughs. Only Nairobi and Helsinki looked at him with sad expressions. They were the only ones who had gotten a little closer to the man and saw through his mask. 

Andres’ eyebrows shot up at Tokyo’s comment though. ,,Martin? Are you sure we’re talking about the same person. The man who used to sing Disney songs when he was happy? Or who used to always carry a blanket around the Monastery because he was cold?” By now Martin’s cheek were bright red and he was quietly begging Andres to stop embarrassing him in front of everyone. But it also felt good thinking about the Monastery. In the past five years he had tried to suppress every memory from back then, because the only thing they did was bring him pain. But now he could once again think about them more fondly than sadly. 

Oblivious to his internal conflict everyone on the table was howling with laughter at Andres’ stories of Martin. Various screams like ,,No way!” or ,,I wouldn’t believe it if I saw it myself.” were thrown around and although Martin was still embarrassed from the stories and exhausted from the long and filled with emotions day for once he felt good with these people. Not like he was out of place. But like  _ this was _ his place. With Andres by his side and his friends (he couldn’t believe it and he  _ wouldn’t _ admit it) around him. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy! I'm so so happy you guys liked the second chapter. Please, keep leaving comments they're the only thing holding me up tbh lmaoo. This chapter is a little shorter and a little different. It's from Raquel's point of view and I really hope you like it! :))) Also if you want follow me on twitter, where I'm sometimes funny if you like @banndditto

“But, mom, why can’t we go to the beach?”

“Because, Paula, me and Sergio have some work to do. We went yesterday, right? We’ll go tomorrow again. Just not today.” Raquel saw how Paula frowned which meant only one thing - she was thinking very hard how to solve this. She smiled at that. Already she could see the influence that Sergio has had on her. The man was very awkward, no doubt about it, but after the first few months he and Paula got really close and began spending a lot of time together. He taught her a lot of things and in return she made him laugh and forget about all his worries. Raquel couldn’t be happier with the relationship between the two of them. 

“I got it!” Paula’s excited scream pulled her out of her thoughts. “Uncle Andres and Martin will take me to the beach.” Raquel actually laughed at that. Just the image of the two men with their suits laying on the sand and constantly complaining about it was so entertaining that she really thought about it for two seconds until she cleared her head. “No way, honey. You know how they are, they’ll only complain and in the end no one will have a good time.”

“But everyone else is busy! Cincinnati is sick and his parents are taking care of him, Nairobi and Bogota are sleeping, and Tokyo and Rio had a fight and now they’re both angry.”

“ And what about Helsinki?” Raquel smiled already knowing the answer to the question. Paula blushed and leaned closer to her mom. “Helsinki is a little scary.” They’ve gone over this a hundred time already, but no matter what Paula couldn’t accept that despite his size and his big beard Helsinki was probably the kindest and cuddliest person on the island. Sometimes she wished her daughter was like Cincinnati who instantly fell in love with the Serb and had no problem hanging out with him.

“But look, uncle Andres is there on the table, with Martin.” Raquel turned and soon enough she saw the two of them sitting on the table in their shared garden, talking quietly. It’s been about a month since Andres came on the island and it was unbelievable how fast Martin’s whole personality changed. He was still an asshole, but he was no longer mean for the sake of it. He went from a cold narcissist to something almost like a puppy, following Andres everywhere. It was like he craved to be touched and to touch someone else at all times. And when she thought about it, it made sense. Ever since she met him, Martin was always closed off, never letting anyone in. And that must have been awful. It was only logical that after finally getting what he longed for all these years he would be touch starved and therefore always hanging from Andres’ hand. 

That was another thing that surprised her. When she first met Andres (he was Berlin then) she was terrified of him, even if she didn’t admit it. She had all the reasons to believe he was a psychopath. But in the end, he proved her wrong too. He proved her wrong, every night when he would let Martin snuggle against him. He proved her wrong when she saw how the older man showed Martin his paintings face always neutral, of course, but eyes always sparkling with joy and hope that Martin would like them. Turns out she was wrong about a lot of things, she thought. 

So after she thought about it for a moment, she nodded. 

“Fine, you can go with them. But ask them first, they may be busy.” They were  _ busy _ very often, especially when Martin was being more affectionate than usual, or when he flirted with Helsinki more than it was apparently acceptable. She shuddered even at the thought of what these two did in their spare time. “Yes! Thanks, mom.” And with that she was already running towards the two men. 

Raquel watched how the interaction went. Paula was waving her hands around and talking very fast. Martin was looking at her with a smile on his face, and when she was finally done speaking he turned to Andres with a huge grin. The older man smiled, clearly not as excited as the two others but after looking first at Paula, then at Martin he muttered something, that Raquel guessed was an “yes”, judging by the excited screams. She then got in the house and returned to Sergio, who was waiting for her, to continue their work. 

* * *

It was already 5 p.m. and Paula, Andres and Martin weren’t back yet and Raquel was starting to get nervous. 

“Weren’t they supposed to be back already?” she asked Sergio. He looked at her, and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Yeah, I think so. Let’s go see what’s happening.”

They both stood up and went to the balcony, which had a great view of the beach. What Raquel saw made her eyes almost pop out of her head and her jaw hit the floor. Andres and Paula were laughing as they were burying Martin in the sand up to his neck. He pretended to look annoyed, but in reality he was also laughing. Raquel couldn’t believe it. If someone had told her two months ago that Paula would be playing like this with Martin and Andres she would have laughed at them and maybe call them crazy. 

When she turned to look at Sergio she gasped when she saw that his eyes were filled with tears. “Sergio, what’s going on.” 

“It’s nothing, um,” he looked at her and smiled. “It’s just that. My brother was never the family type. Even when we were little. When I thought about his future I always saw the same thing - him alone, on the run from the police, having made no genuine relationships in his life.” Raquel grabbed his hand and squeezed it. She smiled at him and said. “Well no need to worry about him anymore.” 

“I guess so.” Then suddenly, on the beach, Martin started rising from the sand with an evil laugh. Paula started screaming, but she was also laughing, knowing it was just a game. Andres was besides her protecting her from Martin, but the younger man pushed past him and lifted the girl in the air. He started running towards the sea until he jumped in, still carrying Paula. After a second they emerged from the water, both laughing like crazy, while Andres was screaming how immature they both were. Raquel laughed and looked at Sergio again. He was also laughing and Raquel felt like this is the best moment of her life. Then she whispered in Sergio’s ear. 

“It’s great that they get along with their niece so well.” She watched how Sergio gasped and looked at her with wide eyes. This was the first time in which Raquel referred to Paula as Sergio’s daughter (at least aloud) and she was delighted at his reaction. A single tear rolled down the man’s cheek and he kissed her. Yes, Raquel though. This definitely is the best moment of my life. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guyss. I'm back with another chapter as you can see. This one is from Helsinki's pov and it got a little angstier sorry about that. As always I love your comments and I just love you guys in general. :))

Helsinki roared with laughter again and finally sat down. Everyone else was either shaking their head or laughing with him. They had gotten used to the Serb showing them his new tattoos, because it happened approximately once a week. How this man had any skin left no one knew.

“I have to say that shark was masterfully drawn. I’m impressed for once, Helsinki.” laughed Bogota, taking a swing from his beer. Helsinki nodded and smiled shily. 

He always had a hard time meeting people at first. They were misled by his size and were instantly wary of him. Helsinki might not show it, but sometimes he got hurt by the people’s reaction. Always looking at him like he was some sort of a monster. That was one of the things that caught his eye in Martin. He never looked at him like that. Instead in his eyes the Serb saw only fire and mischief. And danger. Always danger in these blue eyes.

But when they were alone, in Palermo’s room back in the Monastery sometimes his eyes changed completely. From flirty and cocky they suddenly were heavy and sad. That happened only for a second, but Helsinki was quick enough to notice the change. He could admit it - he fell in love with the man. Everytime Palermo pushed him out his gaze lingered a little longer. Everytime he called him “fatty” Helsinki’s mind turned off. Because everytime Martin showed himself as a cruel man, Helsinki saw the emptiness in his eyes, that was anything but cruel.

But just like he was aware and accepted his own feelings he could sense Martin’s as well. A lot of people say he’s stupid and he has no problem with that, he really doesn’t. But the truth is that he doesn’t consider himself to be stupid. Especially at reading people. So Helsinki knew that Martin didn’t actually hate him, or use him for a quick fuck. He also knew, though, that they could never work as a couple. Martin’s heart just wasn’t his. The Argentine was just searching for comfort, for reassurance, not for love. He wasn’t ready for love, Helsinki knew. At least not with him. 

“Helsi, what’s the matter.” Nairobi leaned down and whispered. God bless her, she was the only one who seemed to know what was going on all this time. She was a good friend and just for him, but for Martin too. Helsinki couldn’t imagine his life without her in it. “You seem quiet.”

“I’m fine, Nairobi. Really. Just thinking." she looked at him weirdly, but before she had a chance to say something Palermo interrupted them.

"About my ass, I hope. But, please, don't dream about other guys' asses. Yours is good enough." then he winked at the Serb and everyone at table started yelling and laughing including Helsinki. The only one silent was Berlin, the big man noticed. He was dangerously quiet and his knuckles were white from holding his wine glass so tightly. For a moment Helsinki was afraid he would shatter it, but then Andres put it on the table and got up from his chair in one swift motion. His face was as blank as always, although Helsinki saw that his face is a little whiter than usual and his shoulder a lot more tense. 

" Hey, Berlin, I'm sorry, man." he tried to fix the situation. It was obvious Martin's comment that upset the other man. Helsinki understood him, and thought he would probably do the same in a situation like this. Andres looked like a heartless monster 80% of the time, but never around Martin. Anyone could see that it was different with him. Anyone could see just how much Andres loved Martin, so it was no wonder that his flirt hurt him.

" I really hate to say it, but this time it really isn't your fault." Even if the words were reassuring the look Berlin gave him was enough to sent chills down his body. Helsinki wasn't one to get scared easily, but that man could do it. He was far too unpredictable. Martin, for his part, looked rather ashamed of his comment, but didn't say anything, probably also afraid of the older man's anger. He just watched how Andres left the table and after a few minutes he excused himself and followed him.

All the people on the table were silent looking at each other, trying to make sense of what happened. Of course, no one wanted to get involved, seeing as Berlin and Palermo were still the most psychotic ones in the group, so after a minute, filled with uncomfortable silence, they all returned to their previous conversations like nothing happened at all.

Helsinki got lost in his head again, thinking about Martin once again. Maybe he wasn't so over him as he had thought. But thinking about all this just made him sad. He liked to play a game of 'what if'. No, wait. He didn't  _ like  _ to play it. It was a thing that his mind always did, when thinking about his close friends. About Oslo, too. Today was a celebration, though. Nairobi and Bogotá said they have news to share with the group and by their looks they were good news. Helsinki, actually knew what they were - Nairobi was pregnant. She had told him earlier today. 

" I couldn't keep it a secret from you." She had smiled at him, and he had smiled too. She had wanted a child for as long as he knew her. She deserved to be happy after everything she's been through. 

After an hour of talking Nairobi and Bogotá finally stood up from the table. " Guys, we have some news to share with you." Everyone's attention turned to the couple. "But, since we are missing two members of the gang I'd like to wait for them. I want to tell you all at the same time." 

Once again an awkward silence settled on the table and everyone looked at each other. No one wanted to go get the two men, because two accidents have already happened with someone walking in on them. Denver had screamed his ass of when he saw them and Tokyo had laughed so hard, she started crying. 

Helsinki just shook his head and raised his hand. "It's fine, I'll go."

"Are you sure? You?" Nairobi raised her eyebrows at him. 

"Yes, Nairobi. It's not a problem" 

Walking to Palermo and Berlin's house he couldn't help but be amazed at how much the house changed after Andres' arrival. Before it had looked almost like a hotel. Fancy, but with no personality, like no people lived there. Now, though, it was something else. There were paintings, that Andres drew all over the walls. Paintings of the sea, the other houses, the other people, but mostly paintings of Martin. They both had decorated, and now the house looked cosy. It looked like a home. 

When he knocked on the front door, and eventually came in, when no one answered, he was expecting to see them fuck. He was expecting to see them yell at each other. What he was not expecting was to hear soft music playing and to see Andres and Martin holding each other tightly. They weren't even dancing, they were just swaying from side to side, too preoccupied with each other. Andres was resting his head on top of Martin's. Helsinki was still behind the corner, so that he could see, but they couldn't. He watched the couple for a few seconds, unable to get his eyes of them. 

" Will you finally tell me what's going on?" Helsinki froze, at first thinking that Martin was talking to him, but then he continued, "I came in here fully ready for you to yell at me and yet all you did was put on some music and said you wanted to dance." 

There was a silence and then the Serb saw how Andres pulled back a bit and grabbed Martin's shoulders. "I'm an asshole" This apparently took the Argentine by surprise. " What? Um, I mean you're right, but what does that have to do with anything."

" I meant that I'm an asshole. I know that. I'm okay with that. But Helsinki is not. He's a-" a pause, "- he's a  _ good person _ ." he sounded like these last words left a sour taste in his mouth. "And I assure you, I wouldn't be happy about it, but I  _ would  _ understand if you wan-"

"Wait, hold on a minute. What are you saying? Andres?" The two of them stared at each other before Andres shook his head. " You know what I'm saying. You're a smart man, Martin, I've always told you that."

"Yes, but now I think  _ you're  _ the stupid one. Andres these comments. They don't mean anything. I'm just trying to fuck with him. C'mon, he's a good friend, I admit.But, Andres, mi amor, you know my heart belongs to you. It always has." Before Andres had a chance to say anything Martin kissed him softly and that Helsinki turned away and got out of the house. It was too personal for anyone to see. 

He was surprised when he felt something wet his arm. He found out he was crying, tears slowly falling down from his eyes. There were a million thoughts going through his head at the moment, but there was one that stood out the most. 'Be happy, Martin Berrote. I let you go.'

He headed to the others to tell them that Andres and Martin won't be joining them.

  
  
  



End file.
